Setting Boundaries as a Dancer: Avoid Burnout & Build Positivity
Growing up as a dancer takes a lot of hard work and dedication. We have to deal with so much pressure, but also develop our own sense of self. However, it doesn't have to feel like such a struggle if you take care of yourself. Setting boundaries can be difficult, but it is important.
When I was just starting out in dance, I had no idea how to set boundaries. I felt like I was just supposed to do whatever my teacher said without any question. It turns out that's not how professional relationships are supposed to be built. Professional relationships require mutual respect, communication, and trust between the two parties involved. When you don't have these things going on between two people who are working together, it can lead to problems down the line.
I love dancing and I have always been a very positive person, but as a dancer there are times when I felt like I needed to set boundaries with myself and others. On one hand, dancers are expected to be flexible and open-minded. On the other hand, we have to set our own limits when it comes to others' expectations of us. Nothing can be more detrimental than burnout. I'm writing this article as a reminder to set boundaries—both physical and emotional—as a dancer so you can avoid burnout and build positivity into your life.
What are Boundaries and What do They Look Like?
As dancers, we are often asked to work longer hours than any other profession. It is not uncommon to train six days a week, sometimes more on performance weeks. When you are tired, hungry and frustrated by the lack of respect you get from your employers, it is easy to just accept the way things are. Furthermore, it can be uncomfortable and sometimes even scary to say no, especially if you're afraid of losing your job.
Boundaries are a tool that allows us to overcome the false perceptions and expectations we have about ourselves and others. When we are able to identify our boundaries, we can begin to live in alignment with our true nature. They are meant to be a guide for how much you can allow yourself to receive from others without feeling overwhelmed. When we set boundaries with ourselves, others see it as an indication that we care about ourselves and our own well-being, which makes it easier for us to set boundaries with others too! Below are some examples:
Saying no when you want or need to say yes (this includes giving and receiving compliments or corrections)
Setting limits on how much time you spend with people or in places
Setting limits on how often someone calls or texts you
Setting limits on what type of interactions you have with other people (i.e., phone calls vs text messages vs in-person)
Setting limits on where someone can touch your body (i.e., no hands in my hair)
Setting boundaries around finances, especially if you need a second job to continue doing what you love
How to Communicate Boundaries
It is important to be respectful and empathetic when communicating your boundaries. It is also important that you communicate your boundaries clearly and with empathy for the other person’s feelings. This means being honest about what you need and what makes you angry or upset, but also understanding where they are coming from.
If there is something in particular about their behavior that makes you feel uncomfortable, whether it be something physical or emotional then tell them how this makes you feel! Be assertive but not aggressive when setting boundaries; using words like “I would like” or “I would prefer” instead of “You have to” will help avoid escalation into conflict. It may also be helpful to realize they have a job they are tasked with as well. Feedback in any job should be encouraged and constructive.
Am I the Problem?
If you are worried about being unreasonable with your boundaries, it can be helpful to consider the following:
Are your boundaries realistic and fair, or are they excessively rigid or unrealistic?
Are your boundaries based on your own needs and values, or are you imposing your expectations on others without considering their perspectives?
Are your boundaries consistent with your actions and behaviors, or are you sending mixed messages?
If you find that your boundaries are unreasonable, it can be helpful to communicate openly and honestly with the person you are setting the boundary with and try to come to a mutually agreeable solution.
Recognize when someone is not respecting your boundaries by paying attention to how they behave and communicate. Do they consistently ignore your limits and expectations, or do they try to manipulate you into doing things that you are uncomfortable with? If you notice this behavior, it's important to communicate your concerns and boundaries clearly and assertively. It’s 100% normal to feel scared, angry, annoyed, frustrated, sad, uncomfortable, or hurt if someone crosses your boundary.
If you're unsure about whether your boundaries are reasonable or if someone is respecting them, it can be helpful to seek out the advice and insight of trustworthy individuals, such as close friends or family members, a therapist, or a counselor. These individuals can provide an outside perspective and help you to better understand and navigate the situation.
By setting boundaries, you can avoid burnout, build up your self-esteem and positivity, and increase your potential. As a brainy ballerina, I know if you are even reading this article, you are going to do amazing things and have the power to change the world for the better. Our dance community is so valuable and unlike any other. Let’s continue to make it more safe, diverse, equitable, and inclusive.
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