The Brainy BallerinaÂŽ

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Navigating Dance Careers: Auditions, Dates, and Finding "The One" 💃🌹

Embarking on a dance career is not unlike stepping into the world of dating. From the nerve-wracking auditions to the exhilarating highs of finding "the one," the dance industry mirrors the intricate dance of relationships.

In this blog post, I’m about to spill the tea on how dance and dating share a secret language, exploring how the journey to finding the perfect dance job is remarkably similar to the quest for love.

Auditions/Dates

  1. Open Call Audition = The Bachelor 🌹

    In the realm of auditions, the open call (also referred to as a “cattle call” is akin to The Bachelor. Just as contestants vie for a coveted rose, dancers hope to secure a contract from the company. With no pre-screening, it's a numbers game, and while the company has the advantage of choice, dancers navigate the path, knowing that the odds of receiving the final rose— or a contract— are slim.

  2. Private Audition = Bumble 💬

    Contrastingly, private auditions are the dance world's equivalent of a Bumble date. By invitation only, dancers submit materials, sparking interest from the company. Much like swiping right, this mutual interest leads to a face-to-face "date" in the form of a company class. It's a chance for both parties to see if they're compatible and if the relationship can progress beyond the initial meeting.

After the initial date, you might get a callback (or a second date). Sometimes it’s love at first sight, but more often than not it takes some getting to know each other. Some companies may even ask you to attend their summer intensive before taking the plunge and getting into a serious relationship!

Relationships/Careers

  1. Freelancing = Dating Around 💃

    For those not ready to commit, freelancing is synonymous with "dating around." By exploring different opportunities without exclusivity, dancers have the freedom to spread their wings and gain diverse experiences. While less secure, the thrill of variety keeps the dance journey exciting.

  2. Signing a Company Contract = Dating Exclusively ✍️

    Deciding to sign a company contract is comparable to committing to an exclusive relationship. Both the dancer and the company agree to certain terms and commit to each other for a season.

Subtypes of Relationships/Careers

  1. The person/job that’s right for you “right now” 🤝

    This is the relationship you have where you know they’re probably not the one but they’re good for you right now. Along your dance career, you’re going to have jobs like this. Maybe it’s not the company you see yourself with for the long term, but you’re in it for the valuable experience you need to get one step closer to “the one”.

  2. The person who likes you more than you like them 💁‍♀️

    Sometimes you stay in a relationship with someone because they’re really into you and that feels good! The downside is, you might forget to ask yourself if you’re really that into them or if it’s just nice to be wanted. Same with careers - just because a company offers you a contract doesn’t mean you have to take it. It’s nice to be wanted, but make sure the feeling is mutual before you sign on!

  3. The person you like more than they like you 🙅‍♀️

    The flip side can also be true - you’re so into someone that you will do whatever it takes to win them over. They might be lukewarm about you or even totally uninterested, but you don’t care. You just keep telling yourself if you stick around long enough eventually they’ll see that you are the one they’ve been looking for. Do you really want to be in a relationship/company that doesn’t see how freaking amazing you are? Where you’re walking on eggshells because you’re sure at any moment they’ll decide you’re not good enough? Heck no.

  4. The one 💍

    Finding the dance job of my dreams was not unlike the feeling I had when I first started dating my now husband. There was an immediate sense that I had found “home” - the perfect place that would challenge me, nurture me, bring me joy, and allow me to be my truest self.

    One thing I know to be true is that you’ve got to put yourself out there to find “the one”. I’ve seen enough rom-coms to be heavily invested in the idea of a dance “meet cute” where a Director just happens to spot you in your weekly class at Steps and spends the next 90 minutes tracking you down because they must have you in their company.

    I’ve also been in the dance world long enough to know that there’s about a 1% chance of that happening - no one is going to come banging on your door and whisk you away to your dream career. It’s time to throw on those slippers and head out to the ball. You’re going to kiss some frogs on the way, but eventually, you’ll find your Prince Charming.

I’ve been out of the dating world for a minute (as I sit here typing this, it’s actually my 8th wedding anniversary!), so I reached out to a friend who is much more in tune with modern-day dating than I am to make sure I wasn’t missing anything. She said, “Have you heard about the current trend of intentional dating?”. As someone who is constantly preaching being intentional about your dance career, my ears perked up.

In a nutshell, intentional dating is taking your time and care to find someone that matches you and your needs. This of course starts with knowing what you want out of a relationship and being authentic to yourself and your potential partners. This concept is not just for dating - this is exactly the process I share with dancers in The Intentional Career Handbook - a guide for aspiring dancers designed to give you intention and clarity in your goals as you pursue a professional dance career.

Because what better way to find the (dance career) love of your life than by pursuing exactly what you want with a clear head? You don’t have to settle, dancer - “the one'“ is out there.



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