Meeting with Your Director? Tips for Productive, Professional Conversations
Meeting with your director can be extremely intimidating- when you walk into their office, it seems like they hold power over your entire career, maybe even your whole life. A former colleague of mine told me she cried in almost every meeting with her boss- not because of anything that was said, just from sheer anxiety.
After a lot of years in the ballet world… I’ve heard it all. I’ve had great meetings and horrible ones, and every time I entered with the same approach. There is no way to guarantee a meeting goes your way, but there is a way to guarantee a professional and productive conversation that will help you reach your goals and feel heard. You have power in this conversation as well- here are some things to consider when meeting with your director which will help you feel grounded and confident:
1. Preparation
Never go into a meeting without doing some prep work. Think about your desired outcome- if you’re asking for a raise or hoping to get promoted, or even if you just want technical corrections, think about at least one concrete topic you could discuss. Your director will probably enter the meeting with their own list of talking points- so you should do the same. I always try to bring a notebook or ask to use my phone to take notes so I can have my talking points or concerns written down in front of me and can remember to bring them up. If you have a specific desired outcome, make sure you also prepare mentally for all possible outcomes. For example, if you are going into a meeting with the intention of asking for a raise, consider how you might feel if your director says no. Think of how you might react and make sure you can think of some professional responses. Sometimes it helps to map out the best- and worst-case scenarios in your head, and in either case consider how you will respond.
To help you enter your meeting with confidence, take time beforehand to assess your recent accomplishments. Come up with two positive qualities about yourself as an employee, and if you are having a hard time, ask a coworker or friend what they think your strengths are- it could be something like your contribution to a positive atmosphere in rehearsal or that you are quick to pick up new choreography.
2. Timing
If you are requesting a meeting, make sure you schedule it with your director in advance. Even if they have an open-door policy, it is courteous to give them a heads-up that you are coming. Also consider their schedule - directors have many aspects to their jobs that we don’t always know about, and they are often extremely busy. With that in mind, ask to speak with them at a time that is convenient for them- then they will hopefully be in the correct headspace to speak with you and focus on that conversation instead of rushing through it. Before you request the meeting, let them know what you want to discuss and how long you expect it to take. This meeting is important, and we always want to give ourselves the time we need, but I always try to keep meetings that I request under 15 minutes. If you have a serious concern that you feel needs more time, then of course you can ask for that, just try to be respectful of your director’s time. (I would also suggest scheduling meetings within regular hours- don’t make someone come in early or give up their lunch break to speak with you unless they suggest it- I promise they will not be in their best mood if they have to wake up early or haven’t eaten all day.)
If your meeting was scheduled by your director, timing is still an important factor. You might not know what their schedule is like, so you can’t control how they are mentally entering a meeting, but you do have control over how you’re entering. Try to give yourself a minute to breathe and focus your thoughts before going in.
3. Tone
One of the most important things to remember is that you are speaking with another human being. There’s no need to panic or tense up, try to be calm and open- that will lighten the mood from the beginning. Enter the conversation with an optimistic energy - even if you’re going to discuss something that isn’t positive, start off with one positive thing, like “I’m really enjoying the rehearsal process for this piece we’re working on right now” or, “I’m working really hard on my jumps recently and that’s been a fun challenge for me.” Pick one positive thing that’s going on at work- and if that feels impossible, try to reframe a challenge as something that is helping you grow.
As the meeting progresses, practice active listening and focus on maintaining a respectful tone, especially if you get bad news. It’s easy for a comment in a meeting to feel like an attack because the high-stress situation increases our ability to be triggered. If you feel yourself getting emotional, that is perfectly normal. I’ve had a couple of meetings where I cried or expressed frustration, and while that’s not ideal, in my experience my directors were pretty understanding. They know what it’s like to be in your shoes- remember they have probably been through this as well in some capacity. Something helpful is to try to empathize with your director. It’s not easy for them to be the bearer of hurtful feedback or to not be able to help you when you ask for it - they’re only human. If you’re feeling upset, remember to stay professional and speak with respect. NEVER curse or place blame on anyone while you’re feeling upset. If you need a moment to calm down, take it. If you have to leave the meeting and pick it up at another time, that is a better alternative than starting a fight.
Something that helped me in situations when I was feeling emotional was to focus on what I wanted out of that meeting and what I could still gain. When I was just starting my career, I had a meeting in which my director told me to lose weight and kept admonishing me about my body. I let him say his piece and made sure he felt heard, which was hard because I didn’t want to hear that. What I wanted was feedback about my dancing that could help me improve, so after he was done, I said, “Ok I hear what you’re saying about my body- do you have any technical corrections you could give me?” By staying true to my goal, which was to become a stronger dancer, I was able to not react emotionally, and instead respond intentionally, which helped me maintain a professional tone and saved my relationship with this director.
4. Follow through and follow up
After you leave your meeting, then you can process your emotions. Go home and take some time to revisit and think… what actually happened in there?? Taking notes during your meeting (this is where the notebook proves helpful) allows you to go back and determine what action items you discussed, and how you will follow through on them. If your meeting was full of corrections about your dancing, try to apply them in class. If you need help, you can ask another artistic staff member to break it down for you. For example, “Hey- [insert director name here] said I need to add fullness to my port de bras, can you help me understand what they meant by that?” This shows that you’re putting in the effort to improve on what was discussed. Any other action item that was brought up in the meeting needs a follow-through - you need to visibly show that you’re working towards whatever goals were established in the meeting.
If there was something that came up that you don’t want to apply, that’s also your choice, just own that you are making the choice and that might have consequences. Going back to my previous example, when my director had a problem with my weight, at that point in time, I decided that it was best for me to go to another company. So, I didn’t take their feedback, but I also knew that if I didn’t, I would probably not progress up the ranks of that company. While that was disappointing, I had agency over my follow-through, which empowered me to continue my dance career elsewhere where my body type wouldn’t be a hindrance to my success. Whether you take the feedback or not, whether the meeting went the way you wanted it to or not, make sure you follow up with your director. This could be in an email just saying, “Thank you for taking the time to meet with me,” or it could be as simple as bringing up some action items you accomplished in your next meeting and thanking them for their help. Either way, you have to follow through on how you are going to take their advice, and then follow up with your director and express gratitude.
Meet the Author
Linnea Swarting is a Leading Artist at Georgia Dance Theatre, and previously danced at Los Angeles Ballet, Ballet Project OC, Nashville Ballet, and The Washington Ballet. She is a contributing writer for Pointe Magazine and also started "The Ballet Writer" Blog as a platform for her dance writing. In addition to dancing and writing, Linnea is a Teaching Artist at Georgia Academy of Dance, where she teaches advanced levels of ballet and "Dance Without Limits," a dance class for students with disabilities. Through all facets of her work, Linnea hopes to increase accessibility, interest, and understanding of ballet to a broader audience, and aspires to help dancers feel educated and confident on their journey in dance.
Learn more about Linnea at linneaswarting.com or follow on Instagram.com at @lswarting.
